2000 something years later, this statement still holds true.
I’m used to going to bed late at night, then feeling completely plastered in the morning.
I’m used to doing things last minute, because of poor planning.
I’m used to misuse of my imagination over worrying for worst case scenarios.
I’m used to being cynical and stopping myself from doing what I really want to do out of several types of fear.
I’m used to misusing my energy, because of inner chaos.
And I realized, all of these unnecessary fretting really doesn’t help at all.
The older I get, the more I know myself – through experiences and retrospective observations – the outlines of what I ultimately want are getting clearer.
I know that what I’ve been repeatedly doing is detrimental, but when you’re caught in a never ending loop without much hope for change – because everything is the same – you’re in the same city, doing the same job, seeing the same people, thinking the same thoughts – it’s hard to break out of a rut – truly.
We are what we repeatedly do – Aristotle
So I rebelled.
I said “no” to all that bothered me.
I did something different.
I went somewhere different.
I met new people.
I tried new things, had successes and failures in various aspects of my life – the highs and lows – I didn’t shy away from either – but the thing is – things weren’t perfect, yet I made them work – I realized, I could handle so much more in my life than what I had thought to be possible.
- Being uncomfortable: Ever been to a party where you knew practically no one? Check.
- Swallowing pride: Starting a conversation with someone whom you thought was ignoring you, but it turns out they’re just busy. The old me would never do this…the old me would’ve let those worries run amok and shrivelled up in my shell of self doubt.
- Making things happens: Surprising your friend and yourself by your party planning skills.
- Bounce back from fatal mistakes: Having a little too much fun in club and being helped home by a friend. Opps. Don’t ask me to party for the next 3 months…
- Stand up for what I believe is right: Helping someone out even though it makes little sense to other people, but for you its the righteous thing to do.
- Letting things go that doesn’t serve the bigger picture: Realizing fully that I’m only behind the wheels of my own life, and not anyone else’s. Therefore, I am completely detached from anything that doesn’t concern me and my attention directly.
- Spending time with people who matter: because these are the moments and the memories you will cherish and remember.
- Turn thoughts into action a priority: but all in all, taking all of this experiences and recognize that if you didn’t take the initiative to be creative, or put your thoughts into action in time, then none of the wonderful and not so wonderful things would’ve happened – for better for worse, you should continue this adventurous streak even when you’re back in the other city.
The past month was about experiences. It was about doing things I would never do normally and breaking through barriers, regaining confidence, and a sense of balance despite all the chaos.
And that’s exactly the most invaluable thing about the trip, the experiences that I’m taking home with me and knowing that across from the ocean I have not only promises to fulfill, but bigger and better projects, and magical moments waiting for me for when I get back.