You know what sucks?
Feeling that you’re not good enough, that you’re inferior – regardless of the circumstances and the setting, your brain starts to come up with all sorts of reasons to make sense of the situation.
Rejected by a potential romantic partner? What am I not good looking enough, rich enough, good enough?
Rejected by a employer? What am I not skilled enough, talented enough, capable enough?
But sometimes those aren’t even the reasons: you could be the most gorgeous, richest, nicest person on the planet and yet still someone will have a bone to pick with you. You could be more qualified than the next candidate, however if the recruiter doesn’t see that, or felt that your personality doesn’t mesh with the company’s then it doesn’t matter how skilled you are.
It’s all relative.
However, with that said, that’s no excuse to just go ahead and “accept yourself for who you are” or whatever it is that they’re saying these days – you could always improve.
I won’t lie, there are two ways I essentially deal with ‘rejection’ in the past I curled up in a ball and cried, “how could they not like me? What’s wrong with me??” I asked myself – nowadays however, I have a different approach, rather than being offended I go home and review the situation then I work my ass off accordingly in order to improve my skills for the next time such a situation would arise. I’ve live enough years to know that situations might not be the same but the underlying circumstances will repeat itself one time or another.
Either way, set your standards high for yourself first rather than expect other people to be the answer to anything – ask yourself before asking of others – because no one else knows your struggles better than you do and no one is more qualified to give you expert advice.
And that’s my tidbit of wisdom for the month.
You have a choice, you always do. In fact recently I realized that every second of everyday is a choice – a decision – you – decide how things in your life is going to be and what is going to enter your stream of conscious.
Don’t believe me?
Take this for example, say you absolutely cannot stand your job and you absolutely hate it to the core – and there’s no compromise that’ll make you hate the job any less – well, why are you still working there this second? Well, you might say, I need the money. This is the best option I have right now. And if those are the circumstances, then of course it’s understandable – however, what are you doing outside of the job you hate determines how successful you’re going to be in leaving that job in the near future for something you despise less.
Are you going to learn some new skills that’ll get you out of your predicament, or are you going to blow off steam with buddies over the evenings and weekends?
It’s all about conscious choices.
Sounds simple does it?
But it isn’t as I’ve also realized recently.
There’s only so many things you could possibly focus on at once, in my case: work, learn a complex foreign language while mastering computer programming languages, mathematics, algorithms and photography!? Where do these things even intersect? And on top of it maintain an active lifestyle and see friends from time to time…
It’s a bit nuts to keep up with myself lately to say the least, and I realized I can’t do “everything” at once. I cannot “improve” everything all at once. I have to prioritize the most important tasks – which currently are career related: programming. Then foreign language: for future use, fitness to keep myself sane, then if I have time, I’ll make time for the ‘arts’ and social activities.
It’s not a fun thing to do per se, but it’s systematic and it’s honestly the best conscious choice I could make with my time all things considered.
I was recently somewhere without open internet and I had also previously broken my very fast, very capable phone.
I had to get a new phone with only factory installed apps.
Meaning: I could not access the usual social media accounts (facebook, instagram, wordpress, you name it) without a successful connection via VPN. At first, like many addicted to ‘the internet’ or rather ‘social media’ I was in a bit of a panic, but then after a couple of days, I’d forgotten all about it and now that I have access to ‘free internet’ again, I’m thinking twice about going back to using my social media.
I was forced into an uncomfortable place. Not being hyperconnected to the world for 2 weeks, but then I realized that even without being connected, I was alright. I didn’t miss much on facebook, nor on instagram as I had my important contacts on other forms of communication. It was alright and my life was much more simpler as I was not distracting myself with a pull down refresh on one of the apps every 5 minutes or so.
I was living in the present.
Now that I’m back home, I don’t see myself going back to my old ways (which I’d come to realize was a huge time waster and a fast ticket to nowhere.)
So the point of this post:
Have you ever been forced to do something you didn’t want to but come out with more clarity than before?