Had 2016 been a normal year (and not a leap), then today would’ve been the end of February. At the end of the month, I really like to look back, pause and think about all the things I’ve done this month. What propelled me, what hindered me, what did I do well, and what could I be doing better? Are there too many interferences, too many time wasters, is my schedule productive and am I really being the best that I can be?
This year is a leap year, and though I’m not one for puns, I like to think I’m leaping off into the unknown. I already know a lot about what works and what doesn’t work for me, what I want and don’t want out of life – so now the main grunt work is in cultivating the ‘do’s’ while ignoring the ‘don’ts’.
And one of the things my mother said to me lately that really bothered me at first, but then when I thought about it – it’s true.
“Why do you need people to care?”
Yes, such a classical, careless phrase it might be – but if you interpret it differently – in a way such as “the people who don’t care won’t ever care” and the “people that care will” without you telling them to.
Which kind of reminded me of friendships. Some people you just click with others you don’t. You can’t make someone interested, or force a genuine connection – it’s all up to chance and then afterwards cultivation. The same can be said about life’s pursuits, where you want to be, where you want to see yourself and how much energy and care you give into something. Except, those latter mentioned, one could have more control on effort and reward.
Still, it is easy to say, yes I want ‘x’ so I’m going to do ‘y’ to get it. But reality is, it’s easier said than done.
Along the way there’s going to be distractions, sacrifices, parts of you that has to change in order to make something work and happen. Along the way, your relationships might fall apart, and as I like to think of it, you kinda have to tell people to nicely ‘FUCK OFF’ or sometimes not so nicely to ‘FUCK OFF’. Get used to it. Things will fall apart because you’re not on the same course to be ‘like everybody else’, you don’t even want whatever they have – you’re reaching for your dreams remember that (and it’s not about ‘having’ it’s more about ‘doing’ and ‘creating’) it’s so easy to fall back onto the ground and resign to your fate. But the fact that, if you’re reading this, you know you’re capable of more than average.