This is partly a reflection on my last post, partly a reflection on how my week and more so two weeks went since I was semi fired. Ah yes, I say semi-fired because well it turns out due to some management screw up they wanted to be nice and keep me on board for the next little while as a very very casual type of – hey maybe you could come in and do someone else’s work for a day or two – you know be the toothpick that picks and dislodges unwanted food particles from our teeth, but you know you’re also not important enough to be a toothbrush, or a bottle of mouthwash so we won’t keep you in the bathroom.
You get it. And I get it better, hence, I became busy just working on myself for these two weeks. Coming up with all sorts of ludicrous plans on what I’m supposed to do for the next 56 days of my life before I hit eject button fully and ditch it for Denmark for – well a weekend and get some much needed cross-cultural advice, face to face, and maybe a few bottles of ‘thinking juice’ to smooth it all out.
Yes. I always think better there, but maybe that’s just the ‘thinking juice’ and good company talking.
That. And I realized I’m also supposed to be back in school.
That. I realize, is also uncertain. What I am supposed to go back to school for? So that I can robotically become that toothpick again and dislodge unwanted food particles…get a job…house…no. That almost feel like I’m taking even more steps back!
I must be crazy to do so? Why do I have to pay so much, and not only that, spend 3 months of my life proving that I can write. When I’m proving it on a daily basis, I can do just that? Should I just, perhaps, email receipts from clients whom I work with?
I think I can already answer that, because in my head it looks like this:
“Look, she can write professionally, so why does she need this course?!!”
“For the wonderful piece of paper that looks great framed on a wall. But really, we only provide the paper so people won’t have the right to scream robbery, and legally we hold no obligations. You pay us for the paper.”
And if you ask me, what I would’ve done with the money from my first foray into post secondary. I would’ve just ran off with the money and well…who knows. Now, it is as if I’m faced with the same dilemma and then some because it can’t be like the last time, I don’t have a second shot at anything, so it’s now and nothing (as it always should’ve been) but when I was 17, I was propped up to believe no matter what you studied…well, just like people my age that I met after, while working some mundane job I didn’t care for…
So, going down that road again is not an option.
What is an option and it really tickles my brain is:
1. Self Education. (Mostly Free, if not, for a very low fee compared to having to haul myself to school from available resources online).
2. In any location. (As long as I have Wi-Fi)
3. Keep up on the work I actually want to do while I’m over here and build on those skills while I’m here to save save save. (And I totally feel like a grown up…because I made my first personal finance spreadsheet the other day…I even put my net worth in there rather than eyeballing my bank balance and my credit card balance every month, though can I say I have excellent credit due to the fact I never miss a payment and always pay it off in full? But now I feel like a total grown up.)