how I bombed all four interviews

As many of you know, yesterday was a busy day for me. I had to go from one place to another to another to another in a seemingly never ending day of walking into an air-conditioned building then back into the hot hot heat again in attempt to secure a job for the next five months or so.

It just happens that these jobs were all over the city and going from one to the other filled up any time gap I might’ve had in my day.

And the result?

I’m not optimistic about any of them.

As I realize, unless you somehow hit it off with the interviewer, so well that after the first ten seconds, both of you are laughing – there’s a good chance that things might get a little awkward even before the dreaded question.

“Tell me about yourself.”

Geesh.

Talk about not being innovative.

Can’t you give me something else to answer that’d actually showcase my reasoning skills?

Rather than, tell me about yourself, where you grew up, which school you went to, what you’re proud about – the question is so open ended you just want to stare at them and go: this is worse than that one time on a date…

Yeah, interviews are a lot like speed dating in a sense.

Do I like you?

Do I like you enough to go to the next step with you? (Ahem, whatever that is.)

Do I like how you look, what you’re wearing, how you present yourself and who you claim to be?

I might’ve passed the first three – but the last question.

“You’re going to be gone for December?” came the question along with tapping of pen on notepad, as if that was to be kept ‘off the records’.

Great. What am I supposed to say?

I don’t believe in permanence and I’m on my way to fuck off to somewhere where I can actually experience life? That, this corner of the world touts itself as one of the best but it really isn’t. That, I’m sick and tired of their condescending attitudes just because they have all the power in deciding if they’re going to employ me, as if employment is the definitive test for success or failure in one’s life.

“Is that going to be a problem?”

“Well, it just doesn’t make sense showing you things when you’re gonna take off in six months.”

“Hah, yeah you know what. This isn’t going to work.” I said then standing up, a quick hand shake and I was out the door. Of course then this repeated itself three more times in the same day. And it got me thinking, if I wasn’t so adamant about my wants, I might’ve chickened out and tried to cower back into whatever’s more accepted. As in, maybe even cancelling everything just so I could have a job that makes me sick.

I then went to Starbucks after to cool down. As I sipped on my coffee I realized I was smiling and not scowling. And I imagined what one of my best friend’s would’ve said if he was there. “You go girl! Respect yourself enough to turn down all those negative vibes!” 

“Don’t ever go back.”

“Don’t go back to what you already know won’t work and focus on building the new.”

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4 thoughts on “how I bombed all four interviews

  1. Can I say, you go girl!! 🙌👍
    I remember going to interviews with dread lest I get hired and have to die a slow death every day. I didn’t have the guts to say what you did, but I did my best to fail at getting the job! Lol. No more gulping down the world’s potion for success. My life, my way!

    1. Hah thanks, the experience is just – ‘no, you don’t actually wanna go in there, why are you doing this to yourself, you can do something else for 30 minutes that’s more productive…seriously not this again, remember how you’d said you’d never do this to yourself again?’ and the list of thoughts just goes on and on. Couldn’t have said it better really, ‘gulping down the world’s potion for success’ what does ‘success’ even mean? I think it means different things to different people. Have a house, a car, a mortgage, and feel like a screw in the system that’s falling apart? It all makes me think about that Avicii music video “I Could Be The One” it’s so clever that it pretty much captures what I would say 50% (a modest estimate) of the world goes through on a daily basis. Who’s even happy anymore? And of course there’s dark humour/lesson in the ending – we often wait until it’s too late.

      So what can you do about it?

      Stay in the system and die slowly.

      Or, struggle, free yourself, and die knowing that, at least you’ve gave it your all. You’ve realized your potential, what you had to offer. I firmly believe that the world needs more passionate people and not people who’s job makes them feel like a plug in the system. I remember in the past jobs I’ve worked, the only good part was knowing that I’ve solved problems and helped people and they thanked me for it. I really like brightening up people’s days and don’t remember much of anything else outside of that, which is sad to say the least.

      So of course, before I get too carried away. I agree with you completely. My life, my way. I’m ready to get really uncomfortable to seek it out. And I’m going to succeed because I believe in myself.

      1. Hey there! Sorry for the late reply! I couldn’t do it on the phone app because I wanted to do full justice to it – and – I had to go watch that Avicii video, which was sad and funny at the same time!

        You’re absolutely right though! There are so many who are living mechanically, doing what society tells them to do. Rebellion happens in the little ways, marrying outside of parents’ wishes, going vegan in a strictly meat-eating family etc. But in the end, they’re all just dying every day. I think the majority choose that route because it’s the easier one. To look good in other people’s eyes is easier than disrupting the system. I admit, I often think of being a nomad – think, because I am yet to see if I am made for solo travel, a theory which I’m testing soon.

        Have you noticed though that there are a lot of people experiencing (to use a trippy word) an awakening? The battle isn’t within, because we all know there’s got to be “more” somewhere inside ourselves, it’s with society.

        But then again, you have the choice to not fight, not label it a battle and just LIVE!

  2. Hah, I’m glad you looked up the video and gave it a watch. Even this morning I actually had an argument with my parents. They still have a say in what I do and do not do in life, which is so sad. The only time they’re not doing that is when I’m off somewhere and away. I’m beginning to think being in the same city is just a bad idea. I don’t need their unsolicited advice anymore.

    I do wish you an enlightening and safe journey when you do travel. It definitely changed my life.

    And I do see that happening! An awakening – I used to wake up being, “I really don’t know what I’m doing. Make it stop.” Then I go to my job just to numb my mind then I don’t think about it for the entire day, come home all tired then my mind goes off again. “What’s your life all about?” and then at night I can’t even sleep because I know tomorrow it’s the same, the day after tomorrow and then after. To the point I just didn’t want to exist because what’s the point? 

    So like I probably made clear in my posts – if being a coward means death and being brave also means death in the end. I’ll just be brave instead! It means I’ll get to experience more, do more, breakthrough the norm, take crap from nobody and be authentic – sure it might not win me a lot of friends and people might not understand but that’s okay because at least I’ll feel alive while I live and that’s all it matters. 🙂

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