As many of you know, yesterday was a busy day for me. I had to go from one place to another to another to another in a seemingly never ending day of walking into an air-conditioned building then back into the hot hot heat again in attempt to secure a job for the next five months or so.
It just happens that these jobs were all over the city and going from one to the other filled up any time gap I might’ve had in my day.
And the result?
I’m not optimistic about any of them.
As I realize, unless you somehow hit it off with the interviewer, so well that after the first ten seconds, both of you are laughing – there’s a good chance that things might get a little awkward even before the dreaded question.
“Tell me about yourself.”
Talk about not being innovative.
Can’t you give me something else to answer that’d actually showcase my reasoning skills?
Rather than, tell me about yourself, where you grew up, which school you went to, what you’re proud about – the question is so open ended you just want to stare at them and go: this is worse than that one time on a date…
Yeah, interviews are a lot like speed dating in a sense.
Do I like you?
Do I like you enough to go to the next step with you? (Ahem, whatever that is.)
Do I like how you look, what you’re wearing, how you present yourself and who you claim to be?
I might’ve passed the first three – but the last question.
“You’re going to be gone for December?” came the question along with tapping of pen on notepad, as if that was to be kept ‘off the records’.
Great. What am I supposed to say?
I don’t believe in permanence and I’m on my way to fuck off to somewhere where I can actually experience life? That, this corner of the world touts itself as one of the best but it really isn’t. That, I’m sick and tired of their condescending attitudes just because they have all the power in deciding if they’re going to employ me, as if employment is the definitive test for success or failure in one’s life.
“Is that going to be a problem?”
“Well, it just doesn’t make sense showing you things when you’re gonna take off in six months.”
“Hah, yeah you know what. This isn’t going to work.” I said then standing up, a quick hand shake and I was out the door. Of course then this repeated itself three more times in the same day. And it got me thinking, if I wasn’t so adamant about my wants, I might’ve chickened out and tried to cower back into whatever’s more accepted. As in, maybe even cancelling everything just so I could have a job that makes me sick.
I then went to Starbucks after to cool down. As I sipped on my coffee I realized I was smiling and not scowling. And I imagined what one of my best friend’s would’ve said if he was there. “You go girl! Respect yourself enough to turn down all those negative vibes!”
“Don’t ever go back.”
“Don’t go back to what you already know won’t work and focus on building the new.”