“An overview of my year?”
This came to me as a shock, though it shouldn’t. We’re ‘almost’ halfway through 2015 and in my mind, it’s been 4 months since I’ve returned.
What have I learned in these 4 months?
1. There isn’t time to waste.
2. I miss the other side of the world, constantly.
3. I need to make a solid plan to go back.
Hence these daily reminder / hacks:
I need to figure out a way to make #3 happen within reasons and without giving up being in the ‘present’ – because my present circumstances – well, it’s not the worst, but it’s not ideal either – perhaps there’s things I need to learn to live with (like my parents would always say) but I’m young and I refuse to give up on dreams because other people thinks it’s ‘unrealistic’ or that I can’t…
Because it’s my life.
I’m in full control.
If I don’t, i’td be my regret and not theirs.
Remember that and live out each day in purpose and direction of your goal.
Always remember the goal.
It’s not guarantee, nor much to go on, other than a ‘if you’re here next time’ wow…why do I remember that so much…it’s not even a promise, but somehow knowing that there’s potential, an open ended invitation, drives me.
Without getting all teary eyed over it, I dissected the emotion and figured this longing is fuel…this ‘potential’, I just do not want to give up on and let it die (like the first time…honestly, I still think about that too…the one that got away, how perfect it could’ve been if I got one thing out of the way.)
‘If I actually lived there’.
How many adventures we could’ve went on ‘together’.
I just know this time it has to be different. This time, I have to make an effort. Like in a quick conversation to my friend, ‘long distance relationships’ just don’t work. No. I’m a firm believer that it doesn’t no matter what other people say otherwise – also I don’t think long distance is healthy either, why would you want to be glued to some electronic device and wait up on odd hours just to receive a call when you should be out there exploring / living life.
So this potential, will never be explored unless I make an effort to be there – my personal, impossible love story. Neat.
3. VISAs VISAs VISAs, yes I’ve been looking up VISAs and various topics regarding it in different countries. I’ve also been learning not 1…but 3 languages in my spare time and working mostly nonstop for the future. Of course, my friends are calling me ‘crazy’ – but hey, they’re not me. They’re settled, some getting engaged, other married, others having kids. We have different priorities, hence their idea of ‘normalcy’ is pretty strange to me.
But then again, as human beings we all want different things. I don’t want an easy life, I want a life that I’m proud of living.
That ten years from now I’ll look back and say I made it, through the tears, the obstacles and the pain and be somewhere that I want to be, rather than look back ten years from now and see how much my struggles amounted to nothing and I’m still in the same place (that’d be a horror story in itself) and that is supremely what I do not want.
Hence, my #1 goal for the month:
Maximize efficiency, not only hitting targets I’ve set, but demolishing them with pride.