the secret is always love

Ending March on this note – a confessionary note no less.

There’s only a few times have I ever felt undeniable passion for someone.

This is of course a blessing and a curse in itself.

My friends all tell me I have high standards – which is very true, as I do not believe in wasting my time with those I’m not even attracted to in the first place – but on the other hand, this means I don’t give people chances if the first impression’s off.

Now, for the longest time, I thought this was the case – until…I saw exactly what I wanted standing in front of me, no explanation or advertisement required – I saw and I was just smitten. You could say this certain individual fit my ‘type’ and swept me off my feet thereafter, alas the ending wasn’t peachy. The fact that it ended left a bitterness in my heart and yet somehow despite everything, I still believed in some sort of miracle would happen – because which girl doesn’t want to believe that true love prevails in the end and the curtains fall when you meet the one?

So there I went, recklessly off. What I found wasn’t what I was looking for, but lo and behold something that temporarily cured me and taught me that even a picky person like me could meet her match more than once. But of course, here’s the catch, whenever this happens, it’s always somewhere other than the city I live in…

Needless to say, this does not add brownie points to the city I’m currently in – the feeling of utter disinterest has me submerged yet again – nothing feels ‘right’ and I find myself not ‘caring’ about anything other than just ‘getting through’ the day as if I’m consciously trying to numb myself – I know, I know this is not healthy at all – which is why I’ve went on more walks than I would’ve normally and went around shooting things in nature – where I can find my peace of mind and be creatively engaged at the same time.

And as I did this, I realized one crucial thing. It all has to start with me. If I’m not happy with something, I should change that mindset. Life is so much more than just romantic love – there’s so much more to discover, so much more to do, or in my case, so many more things to learn, see, embrace than just a person who I’m infatuated with. And the more I think about this, the more I’m glad I’m living the single life and not tied down to anyone – why? Because it means I have the time to build myself up to the person I always wanted to be and not worry about if that person’s okay with me doing that and perhaps not giving them much of my free time in the meantime.

I do believe in true love and I do believe this is not something one could explicitly seek for. The way I see it, it creeps up on you and it might not even be as explicit as love at first sight – but love in its many expressions will always prevail, and when it’s true – it will prevail and workout, then that person will show you why it’s never worked out with anyone else before.

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One thought on “the secret is always love

  1. I believe it really is true that when you stop looking for that one person to love, and just concentrate on living your life well, the right person will come along–probably when you least expect it.

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