Matter of the heart is confusing and sometimes messy. It wants what it wants and sometimes it might not make much logical sense. For example, from a completely economical perspective, me taking that 6 weeks off during the winter and not doing much but burning through my savings and ‘exploring’ Europe, made very little sense. Not only did I sleep in cramped spaces shared with complete strangers, but also wandered around cityscapes alone post nightclub 4 AM, which is neither normal nor safe in hindsight. Logically, I could’ve done something productive with my time, worked, got paid and saved for retirement.
Ironically, I think that’s why this seemingly senseless drive is called matters of the heart – if it was matter of the brain, you could then convince yourself with logic, with the heart – it’s like dealing with a petulant child, dragging you out to the zoo on a warm Sunday afternoon when you’ve planned for chores since last Sunday afternoon.
So what if you gave in to those seemingly random whims that your heart kept telling you to do?
Lately, as I’ve found, as surprising as it is.
I realized just how little I know of the world when I travelled far away. And when I came back I was able to appreciate my surroundings with new eyes which gave rise to new ideas. I’ve learned to be more optimistic and my curiosity for the world around me is at an all time high. I can no longer accept the way I used to see things, and more than ever I find myself wanting to explore – to create. The motivational drive I’m experiencing is priceless.
This leads me to think, maybe it was all within me since the beginning – the reason why I went into Psychology as an undergrad was because I wanted to understand myself and others and learn about what makes us happy in the end. Only, explaining away happiness with empirical evidence and statistical formula didn’t appeal to me in the end. While the foundation for a good life, happiness and fulfillment that followed seemed to be universal, getting there on an individual level was baffling.
Individual happiness is more personal than what scientists publish in journals. It’s almost as if that annoying gut feeling you try to drown out using various means had been right all along. There’s no written guide – because it’s all within you to discover. It might come to you in dreams, or your waking moments, but once you’ve found it, ‘your calling’, ‘your passion’, you’ll know. But don’t trust me on this one, trust yourself.
Respect yourself enough to make it a priority to make that vision you see come true.
After all, you owe it to yourself.