Time to ‘Let it Go’ (Part II)

I’ve never written a resignation letter in my life. I know, how badass of me. No, not really. My work life is punctuated by whimsical walk-aways when the venomous concoction of resentment and boredom build, build and build, bubbling away with trouble and toil in a pressure cooker on the highest setting.

 I should’ve learned my lessons from the first job I’ve ever gotten in my youth, because time and time again I look back and think – despite the differences, they’re all the same.

 My time/life + doing things I don’t care about = compensation(money)

 Routine is lethal, especially routine at something that neither requires much creativity or skill.

 It would seem every four months or so, I get fed up and bounce away, only to bounce back to something similar because I wanted to ‘fit in’ with my peers – what I didn’t realize back then was that I was never one for fitting in (in order to fit in, you have to offer up your differences, sometimes at the expense of parting with important aspects that makes you, you) and that time doesn’t pause for anyone.

 My current employment, the only one I’ve had for this long (seven going on eight months?). The longest relationship I’ve had in my life, both professionally and personally. Day in day out, I helplessly watch myself grow dull, grow old before my time.

 To give you a picture of what I’m like at work, I do what I’m paid for. I go in to do work. I don’t socialize. I don’t enjoy chitchats with all except for maybe two of my coworkers. I can’t engage in topics I do not care about. I especially hate it when I’m interrupted while working by a coworker or managers asking me to do more than the job description, though in the latter case I always rise to the occasion.

 I’m an asset for them, but they’re just a means to an end for me.

 That is not good enough for me, at least not anymore.

 But back to not writing a resignation letter – prior to this job I’ve always had something lined up before I made the jump and though I could do the same before I make my jump with this one, I need to be honest and say I need to find a solution – to either be happy with mediocrity and the nagging feeling of I should be doing something else, or go with my gut feelings and chase my dreams.

 Easier said than done.

 To be continued.

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